Catching up with Life ...

Yeah, after months of planning and weeks of intensive work, SouthSide Film Festival is over and I find myself lost. I'm not lost due to a lack of things to do, as I have a shopping list of a "honey-do" list, complete with addition final details, neglected yard and gardens, and a deck that still needs to be built. Back to my thoughts on being "lost", those come from a loss of excitement, a depression that this year's festival is over, and a feeling of missing all our new friends and visiting filmmakers. I have compared the loss to leaving summer camp: you meet new kids, make friends, and when the fun is building, it's soon time to say goodbyes.

Depression sucks, and it comes in many forms. Mine is a more subtle thing, effecting my mindset, my spirit, and my ability to focus. I want to dig in on next year's Film Fest, but we have hurdles in the way, a change of leadership yet to be determined, and that old feeling of "how many people have we burnt out this year?" and worse, "how many committee and Board members will be lost to attrition?". These anxieties drive me crazy, and yet I understand the burn out, the frustration at times of not seeming to make a difference, and the thoughts that maybe one might have been able to do something different or better. It IS depressing, and if I said I haven't thought about throwing in the towel at times, I'd be a liar. However on the few occasions when I've considered stepping aside, I think about what we've accomplished, what I've helped make happen, and I wonder what would happen if I wasn't here to lend my assist.

I hope I'm not coming across as a conceited bastard or an arrogant ass, but I feel I HAVE contributed something good to this Film Festival, and the reality is that I LOVE doing this work: introducing myself to filmmakers at Film Fests, making cold calls to try to entice filmmakers' participation, and just hanging with these talented Industry people. I am proud to say I "know" people like Rory Kennedy, have hung out at Sundance with Don Hertzfeldt, and have spoken with Robert Redford. It's not a terrible life, so why suffer depression?

Reality is at times an angry bitch, slapping one in the face, grabbing you at the shoulders and shaking full strength. Not that I don't appreciate or even embrace reality, but as a creative individual and as an artist, I choose to blur that reality of corporate America and the 9-5 reality of most people's lives. A starving artist you say, eh? NO, I'm fortunate that I have a VERY supportive wife who has been behind my many "moods" of life. I'm pig-headed, opinionated, and stubborn, and probably am not the perfect employee, and so I wander from creative outlet to creative outlet, constantly expressing my creativity.

I'd love to say I can find the time to blog daily or even more often, but sitting at the laptop for hours to blog just seems more depressing to me. And so I blog in waves, feeding this blog and one or two others out there. In my angry moments I'll share thoughts on another blog, but this little secret is between you and I (wink). That other site, my alias, is frankenflick DOT blogster DOT com. From that site I'll spew my opinion on less than appealing films, political issues, and life's struggles. I promise to blog at least once a week, and when things get tough and times are difficult, I may "vent" a bit more at frankenflick. Check it out once in awhile.

However, my life goes on. I have to get back on track with my Netflix film viewing, offering up film reviews, and in general just jotting some notes in this blog "journal", and elsewhere. The Festival has now been over for 3 weeks and I'm digging in on my other responsibilities. And catching a flick or two every now and again.

Flicks... saw Michael Moore's latest, "Sicko" two weeks ago. I'd have to rank it up there among the better of Moore's films. Though I agree with much of his opinion, I'm not necessarily comfortable with the way he portrays every issue as a one-sided problem. His tactics of interview and carefully edited footage have made him a master of manipulation. And for that reason, MANY people don't appreciate Michael's films, especially those "Good Ole Boys" in Washington.

I'll get more into detail on my frankenflick blog, but I must admit that this film is hard-hitting, truthful, and though a bit one-sided (as are most documentaries) it hits the right points with a style more reminiscent of Moore's earlier "Roger and Me". Moore has gotten back to the heartfelt personal stories, backed up with undeniable truths, and mixed with Moore's usual touches of humor and absurdity. SEE THIS FILM! Read the reviews, read my "alias" blog at Frankenflick, but get off your ass, out of the house, and strike a chord for justice and a better health system in America. Are we going to let the French and the Canadians beat us at health-care? Is it time to move to Canada, like my AWOL-ed cousin did during the Vietnam War? Transplant oneself to France, and abandon the "freedom" fries for some real "french" fries?

All that I know is there has to be some changes made, and apparently they need to start with the Bush family. I'd suggest packing up ALL of the Bush relatives, and sending them to some remote land. But chances are they'd end up with better health-care than all of us still stuck in America, cleaning up after a father, a son, and a dirty brother who once stole an presidential election in 2000. Thank GOD we had 8 years of Bill Clinton somewhere in the middle of this madness. But alas, as long as Karl Rove lives and breathes, there will be deception in the ranks. And the irony of Karl is that he is NOT an elected official, and CANNOT be removed from office. He's simply a puppet-master, and he certainly has a full-blown dummy astride his lap right now. "How does day purnunce my name Karl... dubbaya?"

Sleep well kiddies, if you can, knowing the mess into which our country has fallen. Get out, speak up, and make a freaking difference people. This is our country and we need to take it back from the thieving jerks who control our lives and our country's policies. I'll stop before I can't, but I'll be back here and on frankenflick. So stay tuned.